It's Okay If You're Only Kinda Boycotting Amazon
We're all doing our best, and isn't that the point?
It’s summer, suddenly. As is usually the case here in the mountains of Western North Carolina, one day it was sweater weather and too cold to keep my plants out overnight, and the next, I was sweating walking to the mailbox. I’m always in the market for hydration sticks during the hot months — especially after a long, hot day spent in the garden. I’ve tried the usual suspects — Liquid IV, Waterboy, Nuud, and recently this startup, woman-owned hydration brand, N-2 Water. Guys. I am obsessed. Not only is there zero sugar or fake sugar, both of which I’m always looking to cut back on, I loveeee the flavors (margarita! peach lemonade!) and the fact they’re geared toward women’s health needs, with added magnesium. I’ll be buying the jumbo bag of this all summer and mixing up icy delicious tangy drinks to stay hydrated and refreshed.
I’m positive we don’t really need a protein popcorn made by a family of billionaires. Just saying. (I’m talking, of course, about Khloe Kardashian’s latest biz, and yes, I will be writing an in-depth post on this out-of-control protein obsession we’re in the midst of). There are so many reasons for this, one of which being…everything has protein. Like bread, oats, peanut butter, soy milk, tofu, etc etc. Having said that, one of my long-standing protein secret weapons is this brand of lavash bread and pitas— because to be clear, I’m not at ALL anti protein! I am however, anti trying to pack protein into everything from protein to energy drinks to sell us more products we really don’t need. Anyway. Making a wrap or peanut butter and banana rollup? These are delightfully chewy, soft, versatile, and have 12 grams of protein per wrap.
Did I mention its summer!? That means it’s time for endless iterations of mayo based salads — both potato and macaroni variety. And as much of both as possible. I don’t make the rules! We officially ushered in my favorite season last night with a spontaneous front yard bonfire complete with salty corn on the cob, veggie hot dogs roasted on the fire, and this truly perfect tangy-pickley-creamy macaroni salad. I barely measured anything and used the recipe as more of a loose guide, added extra veggies, and it still came out fantastic. The leftovers for lunch today were even better. Will be a repeat summer menu item for the next few months! Bookmark and thank me later.
A couple months ago, I wrote here about how I was cutting out Amazon. And it was my most read and shared post to date, so I knew I’d found my people. Post election, my already-simmering disgust at the Jeff Bezoses of the world fully boiled over, driving me to cold-turkey swear off the especially egregious of the big box giants — Amazon and Target. I gave myself a hard limit of purchasing a total of 12 new items of clothing for the entire year, and cancelled my Prime. I deleted Target from my brain as a potential dopamine source. They were dead to me, and it felt great.
Now, somehow, the year’s nearly halfway through, and I’m curious how all of us are doing with our top of the year anti consumerism goals. From the bit I see while scrolling or overhear IRL, it seems like many of us are still staunchly anti Amazon — still generally making an effort to shop more mindfully, perhaps more locally, and without forking over our hard earned coin to evil sith lord billionaires burning down the planet and cozying up to fascists. A beautiful thing! Personally, I adore a goal, am idealistic to a fault, and love being part of any cultural zeitgeisty moment — especially one that’s a good cause — so I too have mostly stuck to my commitment. I’ve certainly dramatically cut back on my “add to cart” habit, compared to the me of past years. And in many ways, the shifts I made in the weeks following the election feel permanent.
Having said that, I’ve been thinking a lot about nuance. I’ve been thinking about what it means to do our best and shoot for progress, not perfection. Even and perhaps especially, as the world burns. To be clear — this grey area thinking doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m a black and white girlie, and always have been — often to my own exhaustion and detriment. I chose my current therapist because she actually specialized, as she told me on our introduction call, in helping people find the grey areas in all areas of life. I knew when I’d heard this, I’d found my therapist, as I’ve often skipped right over the grey, swinging the pendulum of my life in dramatic fashion over the years from black to white and back again. This has looked like holding myself to nearly impossible standards, biting off more than I could chew, crying when I got anything but straight As in college, reinventing myself career-wise essentially overnight, jumping too fast into relationships and ending them just as quickly. Or my personal favorite example, that one time I quit my job, broke my lease, ended a four year relationship, sold my car, moved back home, and bought a 27 foot RV in the span of 36 hours (I am so serious. And hey, it all worked out! But girl, yikes!)
True to this form, I watched a couple documentaries and went vegan overnight, and never looked back. And to be clear, I simultaneously love this passionate and uncompromising adherence to my values and morals — while also knowing it often means I cut myself exactly zero slack. I’ve been thinking a lot lately though, as I see the hot-take, cancel-culture mentality play out across social media (mostly Tiktok tbh) drive us further and further into our hard stances and all-or-nothing silos, how I can actively seek out some grey area. How I can give myself even a teaspoon more grace and forgiveness, pick and choose my battles a little more wisely, and prioritize my wellbeing and longevity. Cause like, I think we’re gonna need to keep up this burn-it-all down, stick-it-to-the-man, eat the rich mentality for a lot longer than just this year!
Last week, after searching for a pair of shoes to wear to my wedding — after exactly 11 (LOL) months of periodically scanning the internet for the exact pair of blue velvet Sam and Libby’s Mary Janes I wanted, I ordered them on Amazon. They were literally no where else to be found. Trust me, I scrolled to the very end of the internet. Similarly, I’ve spent hours upon hours scouring the internet for the perfect white V-neck 100% cotton midi but not too long fitted romantic but not sheer rehearsal dinner dress (apparently an impossible quest!!) I finally found one that looks pretty perfect, and unfortunately, it’s at Target. And you know… I may just get it anyway. With the countless hours I’ve spent trying to be a conscious consumer, I could have called my reps, written letters, or attended an entire day’s worth of protests, or more. Holding ourselves to perfectionism standards often, in my experience, accomplishes little, hurts us in the process, and often backfires. You may have heard the phrase good is the enemy of great, but I’d actually say it’s more like attempting to be great is often the enemy of good. And the whole point, whether it’s with changing your consumption patterns or the way you eat, is to do more good, and less harm. Not to be perfect or great.
A year ago, I’d have thought nothing of clicking add to cart on Amazon or Target for these purchases. And the January version of me would have given up on the purchases altogether — or bought them, and felt horrible. A perhaps slightly more nuanced me, who realizes, this isn’t about perfection — is just trying to do what I can do, and not beat myself up about it.
I’m still 95% off Amazon, and it feels great to be honest. I do think it matters who we give our money too — now, more than ever before. I do think it feels pretty metal, and pretty damn freeing honestly, to no longer stroll the aisles of Target to feel something. I see signs all around me, in real life and online, that the rampant consumerism fever is breaking, for so many of us. Boycotts can enact real change, while sending a message and making you feel like you’re living in line with your personal values — and that all matters, a lot. But I hope, if you’ve felt like a failure or a sell out if you’ve run into Target for a few things, ordered something you really needed from Amazon, or for that matter, eaten some pancakes made with eggs or your mom’s famous mac and cheese even after saying you were gonna go vegan, that you don’t beat yourself up. The world needs a lot of people making small changes, not a small handful of dogmatic purists. Do what you can, and forget the rest. We’ve got big battles to fight — we can’t sweat the little stuff.
Till next time, wishing you nuance, grey areas, and soft takes.
<3 Emmy